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PSYCHO-SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT
These ages coincide with the phallic period. During this period, the child discovers the gender differences and becomes curious about it. Gains the ability to make decisions based on appearance. Electra confusion and penis envy in girls, oedipus complex and castration fear in boys (fear of having his penis cut off) are experienced. During this period, masturbation can also be seen, since the libido (centre of attention) is the sexual organ. The child begins to gain his sexual identity in this period.
SUGGESTIONS TO THE FAMILY
• In this period, children focus on their sexual organs and sexual identities.
• First they discover themselves, the differences between the sexes.
• Distinguish between men and women, such as clothing, accessories, color selection, and distinguish the gender of the person according to their appearance.
• During this period, the family should not interfere with the children's exploration and curiosity. For example; A girl should not be yelled at, angered, humiliated, insulted because of gender discrimination and wearing make-up because of her own sexual identity. The family should not overreact to a boy doing the same thing.
• During this period, different mental structures are formed in both genders.
These;
1. Oedipus complex in man
2. Electra confusion in the girl
• The Oedipus complex begins when the boy falls in love with his mother. If the child sees adverse behaviors from the father because of the feelings he has towards the mother, his sexual identity may be formed in an embarrassing way to women, and sexual deviations may be seen.
• Electra confusion also begins with the girl falling in love with the father. At this stage, the girl's negative reaction from the mother may cause sexual deviation and false sexual identity. When such situations are encountered, a statement should be made as follows:
Ayşe is in an electra mess, her attention is focused on her father.
Ayşe: Mom, I will marry my father when I grow up.
Mother: Yes, your father is a very handsome, good, warm, loving person. You love your father and me very much. But your father is married to me. Because I'm married to your father, we have a beautiful daughter like you. When you grow up, you will marry a person just like your father, you will have a cute, beautiful child like you, and you will be very happy like me.
• A similar conversation can take place between father and son, between mother and son. After such conversations, girls will emulate their mothers and boys will emulate their fathers and will begin to gain their real sexual identity.
• Children are curious about their sexual differences during this period. A guy has a penis, why don't girls? The family should tell them that they have such sexual organs due to their gender, by making eye contact in a language suitable for the child, without embarrassment, with a normal tone of voice, and without glossing over the child's questions.
• If the child's questions are answered in the negative or turned down, girls may think that their penis was cut off because of a mistake they committed.
• Boys, on the other hand, may fear castration, thinking that their penis will be cut off if they do something wrong. In addition, explaining to the child that having a penis is not an advantage prevents girls from envying the penis and supports the acquisition of a correct sexual identity.
• During this period, children can play with their genitals. This gives them pleasure and they unconsciously masturbate. When faced with such situations, the family should draw the attention of the child in other directions and provide another subject or event that he can concentrate on at that time. In this case, getting angry, shouting, insulting, using violence at the child does not prevent this behavior, on the contrary, it triggers it.